Why is it that as we get older, things tend to get a harder?

When I was a "kid" (ha, I make myself sound so old when I say that... in reality, in some ways, I'm still a "kid"), I remember having so much free time I didn't know what to do with myself. I used to spend my summer days outside, playing catch with myself or soccer with myself or inside writing short stories or playing Solitare on the computer. Basically, I had no one else to play with so I had to find ways to amuse myself. But I distinctly remember there being lots of boredom during those summers - too much time in the day. Now, there's always a list of things that I need to get done, and it doesn't seem like there's enough time in the day to do it all.

It's not just time, though, with age the problems seem to amplify. I don't know if it's because, with age comes more realization of what is going on around us... or, if it's that we keep making the same mistakes instead of learning from them, or possibly making mistakes, correcting them, and then making different ones?

Sometimes I think I don't want to get older because I know things will get more challenging. I wish I was still in school where my biggest concern was getting a good grade on the test or "does 'Timmy' like me?"

I think a lot of it, is knowing other people's problems. Life just gets harder when you realize you're not the only one else with problems. Although, it's nice not to be constantly thinking about yourself, worrying about others' problems can be hard. Personally, I have issues when things are out of my control. I like it when I can make things happen, and when I can't do it myself, it's frustrating. I guess maybe that's actually a "faith" issue...

I guess this all comes from decisions I've made lately - even though, I know they're they right ones, I hate that I had to hurt someone I love in the process. That was something that was in my control, but there are other things to worry about - things I never thought I'd ever have to worry about because of growing up in the Truth - like family going to Iraq. Unfortunately, not all my relatives are in the Truth, and tomorrow, my cousin is being shipped off. I haven't seen him since his graduation party 4 years ago because he's since moved to Alabama, but I'm worried sick about him and it's out of my control.

Wow, this is a really long blog - and here i am, saying Xanga's dead. Maybe not to me anymore - I find I write in here a lot more when I am stressed/anxious/angry/worried, than i do when I am happy, so maybe there will be more of these soon.

Until then, continue to pray that Christ will set up the Kingdom very shortly!!!

PS. I'm fairly certain Taylor Swift has written her last CD for me. It's amazing. I've been listening to it all day today... and yesterday.

I cannot go to bed if my closet door is open. I've tried. It just doesn't happen. I lay in bed, thinking about the open door, heart beating faster and faster the more I think about it, until I finally get out of bed and close it.
It is a touch of O.C.D.? I doubt it. If you were to see the rest of my room, you'd think it's doubtful, too. Perhaps, deep down, I'm still afraid of monsters in my closet or something...